The Shape of a Glance

(Originally published by Fat Éire Magazine, Issue 2, 2023)

Even from across the room

I’d recognise those eyes

Pale blue rimmed with grey

With a speckle of hazel

Near your left pupil

Your gaze glides over me

As you scan the room

Discontent with your quick search

You turn back in my direction

And I wave to catch your attention

Your face morphs

              From a blank stare

                             To a flicker of recognition

                                           To a squint of confusion

                                                          To wide eyes of clarity

                                                                        Taken aback by the change

                                                                                      A meek smile in acknowledgement

                                                                                                                   Cradling your pitying eyes 

I can see you remembering

My defined jawline

Forged from a diet of water and rice cakes

Refined by a forced underbite and tongue-to-roof

I see you missing

              My cut-throat cheekbones

              That distracted you enough from

              The hollowed-out space beneath

I’d know your

Sea-echoing eyes
Anywhere

And yet

You couldn’t bring yourself

To try and see past

a softened chin

a wider smile

And find buried underneath
The same eyes you used

To get lost in

When you laugh a nervous apology

For not recognising me right away

I gift you an escape with a smile
That doesn’t reach my eyes

And offer the excuse

That I changed my hair